Saturday, August 30, 2008

Til Death Do You Part

So for the first time in quite a while, today I decided to read my newspaper's comics section. It's been a long time since I've bothered to read comic strips that aren't on the web, but I'm glad I did today, because this is what I saw (click to enlarge).


For Better For Worse... over? No. No way. I do not accept this. This I do not accept.

Whenever I thought of them, the Pattersons always felt like they were a part of my family. Granted, they seemed more like distant cousins with whom I only caught up every few months, usually finding out to my disappointment that they were all incredibly boring, their only contributions to conversations being life lessons vaguely concealed in progressively bad puns and turns of phrase.

Still, to say the comics were touching would be an understatement. I remember, when I was a kid, my dad actually sat me down to tell me that Farley the dog had valiantly saved April from drowning in a river. "That's good news," I replied. Then, noticing the sad smile he gave me, I added "...isn't it?" He took a deep breath.


"I love you, son" was all he could say in response.


So that's that. No longer will I be able to share and delight in all of the Pattersons' hopes and dreams. This depressed me, to say the least. "Oh well," I thought to myself after a few minutes. "Sure, it's the end of an era, but it's NOT the end of the world. After all, they're not the only syndicated comic strip family around. I'm sure the others are just as fun and exciting to read." Already starting to feel better, I turned the page to today's Family Circus:


Okay, what the fuck.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I Review 75 Comic Books

In my last post, I mentioned that posts would be lacking until I managed to get a job and afford my heavy backlog of comic books. True to my word, that was almost two months ago.

Recently, however, I've managed to get a job at Indigo, an establishment that specializes in the selling of non-pictographic comics, or books, as it were. As a result, I have finally succeeded in scrounging enough money to catch up on the past two months' worth of comics.

I know, I know... it's been a while. Even though I haven't been able to afford new comics, that's no excuse for not posting at all. I realize that, and I'm sorry.

Here. To make it up for you, I'm going to review all 75 comics in my backlog that I've purchased since I've started making money. I'm not quite clear on which book came out which week, so I'm going to do this alphabetically.

(also this list should give you a fairly complete look at what books I'm reading, and what books I'm not, since this is everything I would have bought in the last month and a bit. Is something not on here that should be? Make a recommendation!)

So. Let's get started...

1) Amazing Spider-Man #564: I appreciate that they're going for more dynamic storytelling with this issue (the same car chase replayed from 3 different perspectives), but the fact is that the story itself kind of sucks here. Simply put, it needed more twists and turns to make the most of the unique storytelling.

2) Amazing Spider-Man #565: Nice twist, and fairly decent art. Not crazy about the new villain (Kraven the Huntress? Really?), but not a bad issue.

3) Amazing Spider-man #566: There's something intriguing about Spider-man having to dress up as Daredevil, since his own costume has been stolen. That being said, there's nothing intriguing about anything else in this comic, next to perhaps the identity of Kraven the Huntress, assuming she isn't the obvious choice of the original Kraven's daughter, because that would be uncreative and stupid.

4) Amazing Spider-man #567: Oh. She's the original Kraven's daughter.

5) Amazing Spider-man Extra! #1: This one-shot contains three standalone Spider-man stories. Two are fairly useless (though not without their charm), while the Hammerhead story is, to my great astonishment, really quite great. It's powerful, upsetting, and is overall a great examination of a villain who never appeared to warrant such an in-depth look. This is probably the best story so far to come out of Brand New Day, and indeed more character issues in general should be like this.

6) Astonishing X-men #25: I'm usually not a fan of Warren Ellis' mainstream jaunts, but for his debut issue on the X-men, this is pretty solid stuff. Snappy dialogue, beautiful art, and good characterization. The plot hasn't been deeply explored yet, but it has potential.

7) Astonishing X-men #26: Whenever a new creative team debuts on the X-men, I tend to hold them against Grant Morrison's New X-men, particularly his first arc, E is for Extinction. So far, this run is starting off much the same way while remaining unique. I don't think it's perfect yet (it's a bit slow, for example), but like I said with the above review, the run has potential.

8) Avengers: The Initiative #14: I'm not a fan of big event tie-ins in general, but with Marvel's Secret Invasion, it seems that it's being done right for the most part, with every tie in feeling important in their own right. This issue, which introduces the seemingly only device that can identify Skrull agents, is no exception. Also, we finally get introduced to the superteam in charge of Hawaii. Pretty entertaining stuff.

9) Avengers: The Initiative #15: This series just keeps getting better with each issue (actually not quite: this series gets better with each issue and then one particular bad issue comes out and upsets the progression. From there, they continue to get better, but the progress has been reset). That being said, this issue, which focuses on Crusader, is better than the last few ones to come out, especially considering I never liked Crusader before this one.

10) Batman #678: Like any good Grant Morrison comic, I have no idea what the fuck's going on, and I love it. In general, the more badly the hero is beaten by the villain, the higher the stakes seem for the rest of the story. Well, I've never seen Batman so completely destroyed as in this issue. The last panel has me eager to see Batman claw his way back up.

11) Batman #679: Okay, things are starting to make sense (but by no means completely), and it's actually really cool. I love the idea of the Batman having subconsciously provided himself with a backup identity should he ever have been driven mad. Once again, an awesome cliffhanger has me clamouring for more.

12) Benny Bunny on Wheels: A really cute comic about a skateboarding bunny. Even though the whole thing seems to be a metaphor for some drama that had shaken up the Toronto comic community, this book never stops being a ton of fun. I wish Sean Ward, the author, would make these comics more often.

13) B.P.R.D.: The Ectoplasmic Man: As much as I love Johann Kraus, this one-shot contains a fairly useless story, which can be summed up as "Boy meets Girl, Boy cannot defeat Girl, Boy returns later and shoots Girl." Only replace Boy with "disembodied spirit" and Girl with "large Baroque soul-consuming Toad Monster."

...What the hell am I talking about? That's awesome!

14) B.P.R.D.: The Warning #1: I know most people won't agree with me that a bed-ridden immortal mummy is a good replacement for Roger, but damn it, I think Panya's awesome. As per usual, this installment of Mignola, Arcudi, and Davis' B.P.R.D. is shaping up to be quite the arc.

15) B.P.R.D.: The Warning #2: Yep. Quite the arc.

16) Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #16: Even though season 8 has been pretty uniformly spectacular thus far, I'll admit the idea of a Fray crossover did not intrigue me in the least. So far, though, so good. Sure, very little of this particular issue focuses on Fray at all, but it's off to a good start. And man, I missed Warren.



17) Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight #17: So now we're off to a good no-longer-start-but-still-early-in-the-race. The Alan Moore nods certainly help.

18) Captain America #39: Art's a little grittier than usual, but I enjoyed the look into the mind of the Grand Director, who gets no small amounts of sympathy in this issue. Not nearly as good as the Nomad-centric issue from like two years back, but it's good for the same reasons, at least.

19) Captain America #40: I probably should have seen that last page coming, but ohhhhhh shit.

20) Captain America: White #0: Great art, buuuuuuut that's about it. Probably won't be picking up the actual series.

21) Captain Britain and MI13 #3: Man, I'm really digging John the Skrull.

22) Captain Britain and MI13 #4: Man, I'm really pissed they killed John the Skrull. Also, the "No more Skrulls" scene reminded me of House of M's "No more Mutants." And that's a BAD thing.

23) Catwoman #81: I wasn't a huge fan of the arc before this one, so this issue's a step in the right direction. Considering the series ends in, what, one more issue? it's a better time than ever for this book to get back on track.

24) Criminal #4: Jacob, the protagonist of this newest arc, is a wimpy insomniac who sucks in a fight Finally, a pulp hero I can relate to.

25) Daredevil #108: The addition of Greg Rucka to the fold has reinvigorated my love for this title. What we have here is an engaging crime mystery that happens to feature super heroes. What more could you want?

26) Daredevil #109: A cliffhanger that made me shit my pants, apparently.

27) Fables #74: What we have here, and what we've had for a while with this title, are the heroes pretty much winning round after round against the Adversary, with little to no repercussions. As great as it is, it's starting to get to the point that I'm rooting for the other team, which are starting to come off as the underdogs. Still, the final passage promises some bad news bears. I can't wait.

28) Fantastic Four #558: I don't understand it. A Bryan Hitch book that's coming out monthly, and on time. I think I'm dreaming. Also, the various mysteries are quite intriguing, particularly the one concerning Mrs. Deneuve. Who might she be, I wonder? I'll be happy as long as she isn't the original Kraven's daughter.

29) Fantastic Four #559: So yeah, it continues to be pretty badass. In this issue, Millar seems to start treating Johnny with at least SOME dignity, which is welcome in my books.

30) Final Crisis #2: In terms of Big Events, this one is really shaping up to be my favourite since Identity Crisis. It's so incredibly layered and complex, with amazing scene after amazing scene. My one complaint with this issue is that it's beautiful, but not quite as beautiful as issue one, where each panel could have been a cover to 52.

31) Final Crisis #3: I'd say the art's more or less back on track, while the writing continues to be as engaging as ever. What sucks is that we have to go a whole 2 months before we can get issue 4. I don't know if I can wait that long.

32) Final Crisis: Revelations #1: The issue was fine, I guess. What really irritated me, however, was the absolutely appalling way that Dr. Light's character has been represented since Identity Crisis. Brad Meltzer tried to offer us a complex character who wasn't just a one note loser, and since then, he's become "Rapey, the raper who can't stop raping things." Of course, this is a problem that's been around long before Final Crisis: Revelations, but it really solidifies things in this issue. I could go on, but something tells me this warrants its own blog post.

33) Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge #1: Unlike Secret Invasion, which is significantly enhanced by a good portion of its spinoff titles, Final Crisis seems to be at its best when its spinoff titles are ignored. That being said, Rogues' Revenge is a fairly interesting title, probably because the Rogues themselves are probably my favourite group of villains in the DCU (Secret Six being a close second).

34) Green Lantern Corps #26: I pretty much love the over-the-top gore contained in this book, even though it feels a tad out-of-place (Green Lantern is all ages, isn't it?). Still my favourite moments in this issue include Mongul's violent yet effective conflict resolution when Duel, the insane set of conjoined twins, begins to argue about where they should be, as well as Bzzd's heroic sacrifice.

35) Green Lantern Corps #27: The art in this issue is significantly less gritty than the past few, yet it's still about as gory, especially in one very effective scene in particular.

36) Hellboy: The Crooked Man #1: I'm pretty sure this is the first book I've ever purchased that's been illustrated by Richard Corben, and I can finally see why he's been so popular for so long. Although quite cartoony, his characters seem to have a substance of their own, and really pop off the page. It actually reminds me quite a bit of Frank Quitely's art, which I love.

37) Hellboy: The Crooked Man #2: The art, which I've already complimented, is even creepier in this issue as the shit starts to really hit the fan. Man, if the villain of Hellboy 2 had been the Crooked Man instead of an elf who made Legolas look like the Terminator, maybe it wouldn't have sucked so hard.

38) Hulk #4: Goddamnit. I keep hoping the series will get better but this issue is even worse than the one before it. Maybe next issue will see some improvement.

39) Hulk #5: Goddamnit. I keep hoping the series will get better but this issue is even worse than the one before it. Maybe next issue will see some improvement.

40) The Incredible Hercules #119: So this one has pretty much the best cosmic God battle that I've ever read. This is way better than it has any right to be, considering it stars Hercules.

41) Invincible #51: The art on this one just seems to be getting better and better. I like Kirkman's approach in this issue (and indeed many issues in this titles) of advancing many different plot threads at the same time. It gives the book a soap opera feel to it, but I don't by any means mean that in a bad way.

42) Invincible Iron Man #3: A pretty strong issue, not least of which because Ezekiel Stane is such a cool villain, though isn't Maria Hill's hair supposed to be brown?

43) Invincible Iron Man #4: Not bad, but probably the weakest issue of the series so far. Larroca needs to stop "casting" big-name actors to play his characters, and I'm willing to accept that Iron Man could beat Mr. Fantastic at chess, but there needs to be SOME explanation.

44) Jack of Fables #23: The current arc is a little boring, since it features two characters we know survive fighting each other. That being said, great characterization and an interesting narrative approach elevate the story somewhat.

45) Jack of Fables #24: Again, not much surprising in terms of the overall story itself, but there are some great character moments, such as Jack's reaction to finding out his favourite hooker died of the Pox.

46) Joker's Asylum: Two Face #1: This is the first of the Joker's Asylum stories that I've picked up, and I'm now tempted to go back and pick up all the others, because this is surprisingly good stuff. A really suspenseful story that had me on the edge of my seat the whole time.

47) The Mighty Avengers #15: So.... the Skrull impersonating Hank Pym is a woman. Does that make Tigra... a lesbian?

48) The Mighty Avengers #16: There isn't MUCH of a story here, but it's certainly recommended for Elektra fans who are upset that she got replaced by a Skrull. She's... really cool in this issue.

49) The New Avengers #42: This is a pretty awesome issue that explains what the Skrulls were doing all this time. There are quite a few neat scenes, such as a conversation scene that seems to pan around the room, but my favourie part is the line "I think we accidentally put the Avengers back together."

50) The New Avengers #43: This issue makes me feel really bad for everyone on the Space Pod from Secret Invasion. They really get the worst of all worlds. It's like Total Recall, but depressing.

51) Punisher #59: The penultimate issue of Garth Ennis' spectacular run. Reading this issue, however, I couldn't help but think about how the current arc could be considerably shorter. I'm not even talking about the excerpts from Valley Forge, Valley Forge, which are really well written and quite haunting. A large portion of this issue is devoted to General Howe watching Castle's incriminating tape. However, we already know what the tape contains, so these segments could have happened completely off-panel. Still, I'm very sad this run is almost at its end.

52) Punisher #60: The ultimate issue of Garth Ennis' spectacular run. It's a pretty powerful issue that, perhaps predictably, likens the injustices behind the politics of Vietnam to the current state of the world. Still, he's not getting any objections on my end.

53) Secret Invasion #4: While nowhere near as cerebral as Final Crisis, this series is still more clever than I think most people are giving it credit for. There are a lot of cool artistic choices, such as the first few pages feeling like one continuous shot, and the Hood scene sets up something that could potentially be too cool for words. Nick Fury's return, however, was a bit goofy and disappointing, but still, this is a solid issue.

54) Secret Invasion #5: Perhaps the strongest issue in the series, at least since issue 1. Every story beat in this particular issue (and there are quite a few) is really strong. I kind of wish we had gotten to this point sooner (I mean, we've known pretty much since issue 1 that everyone on the pod was a Skrull), but that's not this issue's fault. The Mockingbird conclusion was appropriately upsetting, and I always welcome a scene that doesn't portray Maria Hill (one of my favourite relatively new charaters) as utterly incompetent.

55) Secret Invasion: Front Line #1: I like this series because we often lose sight of the regular joe in superhero comics. We get desensitized to things like an alien invasion, which should, to a civilian, technically be as terrifying as the first half of War of the Worlds. I can't say this issue achieves that particular level of terror, but it's a start.

56) Secret Invasion: Front Line #2: It also helps, I guess, that the Skrulls kill a lot of humans in this issue. I thought they only wanted to superheroes, but I'm not going to worry about it too much. For this series, it works.

57) Secret Invasion: Skrulls! #1: I bought this book not knowing what it was, and it turned out to be an encyclopedia of all my favourite Skrulls. I didn't really read it, but I guess I'll hold on to it because you never know when it might come in handy.

58) Secret Invasion: Runaways and Young Avengers #2: Shit sandwich.

59) Secret Invasion: X-men #1: The art's beautiful, but this is really just a book of people fighting for 22 pages. Still, it's worth it if you're a huge fan of the X-men, or pastels.

60) She Hulk #31: I only bought this because it's part 2 of a crossover with X-factor. The art's great and the characters are fun, but it's still frustrating because like most crossovers it's two people fighting because of a misunderstanding. Peter David takes the time to address that yes, this sort of storyline is stupid, but if anything, that makes the arc a bit MORE frustrating.

61) Squadron Supreme #1: So now, instead of Marvel re-imagining DC characters, we have Marvel re-imagining... Marvel characters... which they already do in the Ultimate universe. Still, I wouldn't mind this shift in the property if the series were, you know, good. But clunky dialogue, boring characters, and really, really awkward narration makes this not good. It's particularly depressing when I think back to how much I loved Straczynski's run.

62) Star Wars: Legacy #26: The book's a bit inconsistent, with some great stories and some pretty boring ones. I'd call this one middle-of-the-road, but it seems to set up some cool arcs for the future, particularly with Cade's plan to assassinate Darth Krayt. I'm really surprised with how not annoying this Skywalker is.

63) The Twelve #7: As depressing as Squadron Supreme is, all is not lost. The Twelve really took me by surprise by being a really amazing series, coming as close, quality-wise, to Supreme Power as possible. For some reason, I'd thought Straczynski had gotten stale in the past few years, but he demonstrates here that that couldn't be further from the truth. My only hope, though, is that the mystery of who massacred the Rail and Balls doesn't go the obvious route, which they seem to be hinting at in this issue. Time will tell, though.

64) Uncanny X-men #499: The art, particularly in the Omega Red scenes, is quite beautiful, but beyond that there really isn't a lot going on. Generic fare on almost every level. Of all the things that Brubaker is writing, this appears to be by far the worst. Baffingly so, in fact.

65) Uncanny X-men #500: This new arc seems to be an improvement over the last one, particularly because it at least feels important. I don't really feel that Greg Land's art serves the story very well, and would have hoped for more of Dodson's art instead. I'm not crazy about the portrayal of Magneto, but still. I'm intrigued, and and want to keep reading. That's more than I could have said for any Uncanny issue previously since Messiah Complex.

66) Walking Dead #50: Okay not much happens at all in this landmark issue, and I suppose that's fine, since this is supposed to be more of a character piece, a quiet examination of Carl's reaction to his father's failing health. Still, I found his monologues to be awkward, and feel the story could have been condensed to about half the length without feeling like any less of a meditation. After a series of kickass issues, this one just doesn't cut the mustard for me.

67) Walking Dead #51: Another slower issue, this one feels a lot more successful. We really get inside Rick's head, and the reveal towards the end is perfectly executed. Again, not much happens, but the storytelling is much more effective. Or whatever, maybe I just need at least one person eaten by zombies each issue.

68) War Heroes #1: Yet another offering from increasingly prolific writer Mark Millar and less prolific artist Tony Harris. It's off to a strong start. The first few pages are a bit expository, but it does allow Millar to provide us with all the backstory we need so we can get right into the meat of the story before the issue's end. And a very intriguing story it seems to be.

69) Wolverine #67: Yet another offering from increasingly prolific writer Mark Millar and less prolific artist Steve Mcniven. Even though the story takes a bit of a diversion in this issue, it's still a lot of fun, and particularly beautiful to look at. I definitely can't wait to read more. Also, Ultron 8? Best Ultron ever.

70) X-factor #33: Part 1 of the He Loves You storyarc (see the She-Hulk review for part 2), this issue is better than it should be (for a crossover), yet worse than it should be (for an issue of X-factor). I'm very intrigued to see how Darwin will fit into the lineup, but my enthusiasm is somewhat marred by the artwork of this issue, which I just don't like at all. In fact, I kind of hate it. Everyone's face looks like a Raggedy Anne doll.

71) X-Men Legacy #213: Even though I have no idea who the old lady antagonist is, most of the reveals of this issue are very satisfying, particularly discovering what Mr. Sinister's plan is.

72) X-Men Legacy #214: Oh look. They have a Miss Sinister now. Great. Suddenly, I'm starting to miss Kraven the Huntress.

73) Young Avengers Presents Hawkeye: A standalone issue focusing on the Young Avengers' own female Hawkeye (formerly Hawkingbird). Fraction does a good job focusing on the awkwardness of adolescence and the generation gap, with the superhero angle more of a metaphor. I'm glad he chose to opt out of focusing on the fact that this character is a rape victim. It's easy to get lost in sensational details like that, so I'm glad he didn't.

74) 1985 #2: In this issue, Mark Millar makes Sandman and Electro scary. Huh.

75) 1985 #3: In THIS issue, Mark Millar makes MODOK and Fin Fang Foom scary. Holy shit.


Annnnd there you have it. 75 comics. 75 reviews.

Up next: nothing because I just died from exhaustion.